Beauty in Each Moment

What did God show me today?

As I watched my sis-in-law, Judy, be surprised at her 60Th b'day tonight...I witnessed beauty. Pure joy, pure happiness...these are moments to treasure. Life is good for her in this season...but has it always been? NO. She's dealt with loss, double mastectomies, pain, and grief. She's just like you and me, and I love her.

My eyes sweep across the room, such lovely people attend the party. But, I find myself seeking what I cannot see. Pain in people's lives is not always apparent, but it's there.

I have another sis-in-law, Sandy, who is stunningly beautiful...but she doesn't see it. God gave her an incredibly smart mind, beauty and stamina to accomplish so much. I want her to know her value in Christ...just like I want to know mine.

I think we all struggle with this at different times of our lives. To find the beauty and value in each moment of our lives.

Loss has definitely helped me. I purposely seek out the moments of beauty because I know how fleeting our lives can be.

There is beauty and talent in every person...we just need to know that our value is in Christ and He will steer us towards accomplishing our purpose if we will just let Him.

Whitney's purpose was children. She loved and adored them and they loved her. She was uniquely gifted in this area. She fulfilled her purpose and God led her home. I find a lot of comfort in knowing she completed her task and God will say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Amen.

Went to Costco today. Whitney LOVED Costco. Don't really know why, maybe she was like me and would 'snack' her way through as you meander down each aisle, or maybe it's just plain fun to see all the goodies. Personally, I like both reasons and probably Whitney did to. After all, she was my daughter...

I don't always say what I'm feeling to Tony, but he always knows. It NEVER fails...like today we tried a new restaurant(to us)in Acworth called 'Red Peppers' a Cuban-owned restaurant that was recommended to us. Food and service was great. But, after a few moments of sitting across each other, we both tear-up, we both remember, and we've never said a word. We don't have to...pain doesn't have to speak it's just there.

Tonight, Tony and I were watching 20/20 on TV...in our usual position of me lying on the sofa and he's kicked back in the recliner. The show was about two beautiful girls murdered along with two guy friends. Tragic, brutal, heart-wrenching and I was about to turn it when the TV host said they had died on July 18Th. We just looked at each other again...and for some reason we needed to watch the show in its entirety. Whitney died July 18Th...I guess we felt a common thread with those parents who lost their children on the same day, just different year.

I'm not going to try and figure out the WHY I/We do, say, feel, because I believe it's just our way of coping for this season of time in our lives.

But, I am so blessed to have a husband that shares my pain...for two shall become one.

Hocus - Focus - Firsts

I CAN'T FOCUS! What is WRONG with me??? I truly cannot seem to remember squat! (remember squat is apparently a southern term that I've always said but does not make sense...)Oh well...

I'm suppose to be gathering decorations for my sis-in-law's surprise 60th party, I just remembered that today. The party is Saturday. I went today to Hobby Lobby to pick up a couple of things and I "saw" the last couple of items that I had bought Whitney for her house. It's amazing how you can shop with tears swimming in your eyes. I quickly shopped and left. Too much emotion.

Thank the Good Lord I have Kim (Stokes) to call for last minute, (because I forgot) presents she can stitch. She always has great gift ideas...it's awesome to have talented friends who make allowances for their non-focused friends.

One thing I've noticed lately is Christmas is on its way...in the stores that is. I'm showing my age because it overwhelms and saddens me to walk in and it immediately starts my dread for the holidays. Everyone who knows me....knows how I LOVE decorating and entertaining during the fall/winter season. This rest of this year is 3 months of 'firsts'. First birthday, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas...without Whitney.

But life is all about firsts isn't it? Your first steps, first words, first bra, first love, first heartbreak, first child....

God is ALL about "Firsts"...We love because He 'first' loved us... I John 4:19
II Corinthians 8:5...they gave themselves to the Lord 'first'....
Genesis 1:5...and there was evening and there was morning--the 'first' day.I think in grief that there will always be 'first' days. Everyday is your 'first' day without your child. Everyday is first because it will be different.

God has already experienced all of our 'firsts' so I suspect He KNOWS exactly how I feel.

Thanks for reading...Lisa

Two Sisters, Two Aunts and One Cabinet Maker

Every so often, God gives you an extra special day. Today was mine and as a bonus God threw in a unexpected gift...which sweetened my soul.

For the last few weeks Lori and I travel the same roads that lead to Lake Wedowee in Alabama. However, today we brought along our two aunts--Joyce and Modree to give them the two-dollar tour and they are great fun to be around. So off we go....heading towards the lake, but first we needed to take a side road to visit Samuel the Cabinet Maker. Samuel is a small-town, quiet, man-of-few-words, but takes pride in his work...kind of guy. He has a very kind and gentle spirit that exudes the saying..."preach Christ at all times, use words IF necessary." This is probably an acurate portrait of him.

Today, we went to view his work of the bathroom and kitchen cabinets. Amazing Work! It truly was fabulous. He was greatly pleased that we were pleased. A few moments later, we walked outside when he came around another direction. We met at Lori's car; Samuel handed me a CD case....

I said, "Samuel, what's this?"

"It's a CD I made in memory of your daughter." The countenance on his face spoke volumes.

I was immediately touched by his kindness of wanting to do something special to show he cared about our loss.

"I knew you sang in a group, but are you also singing solo?" I said.

"Yes, but my kids are singing with me some." he said with fatherly pride.

"What kind of music do you sing?" one of my aunts asked.

Samuel cocked his head laughing as he said..."I call it 'Redneck Gospel' singing."

You know what Samuel--I thought later....I call it...'Having A Heart for God'.....


The CD is awesome, but most important is having another 'treasured moment' to tuck away. When you're given these treasures...make sure you bring them out from time to time and remember the moment. For me, it's a reminder that God uses an ordinary carpenter to do a very special deed.....

Hmmmm...I wonder where God got that idea to use a carpenter?

Remembering Whitney...

Blogging is new to me. I typically share through e-mails with my friends but was encouraged to blog and share to many more. Recently, my daughter Whitney, died in a tragic car accident at the age of 25. Young, single, sassy and funny was she. Whitney lived life to the absolute fullest and transferred her energy during the day to two sweet boys, Bryce & Brooks. She was a Nanny in my sister, Kristi's, neighborhood in Buckhead. She was deemed the modern day 'Mary Poppins' who used her Honda Civic to pop in the various homes she sat for instead of the umbrella Mary used. She made friends fast and continued to nurture the old ones. She adored her kids she babysat for in the neighborhood and equally adored their parents. She is missed by many but especially by her mother...ME.

Grieving is a new journey...paved by uncertainty. I never know how or when the grief will grab my attention and swiftly send me into tears, or sometimes into total numbness. I am just in the last month coming out of shock...it has taken several weeks to slowly drain off. Her death was July 18, 2009, so we have just past the two month marker. The weeks have gone swiftly but slowly--depending on my state of mind.

My sister, Lori, is building a Lake House in Wedowee, Alabama. It has been my life preserver every Wednesday. We go early, and we talk about Whitney and then we don't. I sometimes cry or we'll just be silent and it's okay because she's my sister and she knows. We immerse ourselves in the decisions of the day, choosing things, deciding on everything from faucets to trim work to how many feet should the sofa be from the fireplace. It's relaxing, soothing and it takes the place of medication--And I'm grateful.

But, it is God that has kept my feet hitting the floor every morning. He wakes me up, reminding me that He has given me another morning to glorify Him. God reminds me that Whitney is with Him entertaining her friends with her fabulously funny personality and that I still have a life to continue, a home to run and children to still get to school. So, I continue on...and as we ALL know...God did not promise that it would be easy...He just promised to be there.

And He is...